Sorry Mariah, we rewrote your song

You know that Mariah song that plays All. The. Time. Yeah, we rewrote it.

I don’t want a lot for Christmas

There are just some things I need

It’s been such a long damn year,

Will you please Rescue Me?

Maybe send me Barley Palmer

So I feel a little calmer,

Make my wish come true

All I want for Christmas is brew.

I won’t ask for much this Christmas,

Nothing Inappropriate

Some IPA, a little lager,

That is all, that’s mostly it,

I just need to readjust

Will you send me Wanderlust?

Make my dreams come true,

All I want for Christmas is booze

I don’t want a lot for Christmas,

Listen so there’s no confusion,

This year was a Slippery Slope,

I could use a canned Transfusion,

I’m certain I won’t be depressed

If you pour some Winterfest,

Maybe send a Mountain Mule

To help me celebrate the Yule

So go check out that fine Brewtique

Get anything from Barley Creek

And make my dreams come true,

All I want for Christmas is brew